Importance of Communication in Marriage
Effective communication is the key to a successful marriage. It is the art of talking about and listening to what your spouse says.
Most marriages go through rough times. And that can change the way spouses communicate with each other. Eventually, many couples develop bad habits when things are on the down.
Communication is not a one-way street — your partner is not meant to just absorb your viewpoint and agree all the time. Taking the time to listen means that you might hear something you didn’t before.
There are many communication skills to learn in a marriage, and making improvements can take time.
Types of effective communication in marriage
- Verbal communication is the most common type and it includes spoken words. It allows couples to share their feelings and thoughts.
- Non-verbal communication involves body language, such as facial expressions and eye contact. It helps spouses to understand their emotions without saying a word.
- Written communication includes text messages, social media posts, letters, and emails. It can be helpful when couples need to discuss something but cannot talk face-to-face.
How to have effective communication in marriage?
Be Honest and Open.
Being honest and open is at the top of the list for how to improve communication in a relationship. Say what you mean, and make your feelings and your needs clear. Retreating from conflict seems deceptively safe and comfortable, but it’s no substitute for trust in a relationship and it will never help you learn how to communicate better.
Be Willing to See Their Point of View.
Craving to feel heard and understood is an inherent human tendency. Thus, we focus a lot on proving our point right. Getting the other person to see things our way seems to matter the most. We all do it, so it’s understandable. However, prioritizing our thought too much can backfire.
Make eye contact when you are talking.
Make good use of touch, responsive and reflective feedback, and body language (smiles, gestures, head tilts, raised eyebrows, nods, etc.) to demonstrate that communication is actually occurring.
Avoid surface level or single word responses.
When talking with your partner, it’s too easy to brush off real communication, squash first-order interaction, and signal your spouse that you are not really interested and that’s too wrong.
Fight fair
Resist fault finding, exaggerations, put-downs, name-calling, blaming, insults, sarcasm, and absolutes…” You always” …” You never.” It is advisable to avoid “You should” or “You shouldn’t” as well.
These unfair verbal weapons only grow up an argument due to the attacking nature and usually result in the other person taking a defensive posture.
Be conscious of how you are speaking
Use the kind, soft, and the polite road to getting your message across. Shouting stimulates the need to be heard and is the negative driving energy of arguments.
Seek couples therapy if you feel stuck.
If you struggle to figure out how to communicate effectively, or if you end up in a stalemate despite your best efforts, therapists like Dr. Carla can be great facilitators for improved communication.
