6 Tips for Building Self-Trust
Trusting yourself isn’t an easy task for everyone. If you struggle with self- trust, know you are not alone. We all go through instances where we do not trust ourselves. It could be involving a relationship, work, an activity, or a hobby. Some of us become trapped in that pattern of self-doubt. Most of the clients who come to me for therapy turn out to be struggling with deep self-trust issues that were built early on over wrongly perceived events and incidents. Self- doubt can be a lifelong battle and if not corrected, might be the root cause of many secondary challenges, including weight battles, depression, fears and more.
Learning to trust yourself is an important part of recovery. Whether you struggle with mental health issues, addiction, or trauma, you need to acquire the skills for self-trust.
Signs of Trust Issues
Focus on the Negative
People in trusting and healthy relationships are more likely to see the positives in each other. On the opposite end, people with trust issues are more likely to focus on the negatives. If you often find yourself predicting the worst and noticing people’s weaknesses rather than their strengths, that could be a sign of self-trust issues.
Intimacy requires vulnerability, and people who struggle with trust issues try to avoid feeling vulnerable at all costs, and would rather be on their own rather than risk being hurt.
You have trouble committing, because committed relationships admit trust and vulnerability from everyone involved. When you don’t trust others, you avoid getting into situations that cause you to feel vulnerable, and you develop commitment issues.
Smother People You Care About
When people are in your inner circle, you protect them fiercely because you fear that they will leave you or that something bad will happen to you. This can result in smothering, hovering, or codependent behavior in your relationships, all of which are toxic patterns to avoid.
How Do you build Self-trust?
Focus on Strengths
Choosing to focus on your strengths can be a nice reminder of how capable you really are. Think of all the problems you’ve actually overcome and how surely you are moving forward with your life. You will slowly learn to trust yourself more as you fully acknowledge your strengths.
Challenge your negative thoughts
When you haven’t done something as perfectly as you would’ve liked to, you might feel like you ‘failed’. Instead, you could look at these moments and think ‘I did okay there’, or, ‘it didn’t go to plan, but I got through it’. By looking at situations from this point of view, it can take away the pressure to be ‘perfect’. Remember, seek accomplishments not perfectionism. Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) has been helping people all over the world change their attitude and mindset about life and how to approach it every day.
Finding the right people for you
Sometimes, low self-esteem can be aggravated by people who might make bad comments about you. You might not always realize how the people around you are making you feel. By reflecting on how they are treating you, you can start to see who makes you feel good, and decide to spend more time with them. Remember, people value you for many different reasons. I always tell my clients they’re better off having a few invaluable connections rather than many fake ones.
Set Achievable, Manageable Goals
Every victory is another reason that you should believe in yourself. Even and especially the small ones. However, a common mistake is setting goals that are either too vague or out-of-reach. Your goals should be specific and measurable so that you know exactly when you’ve achieved them. Behavior Modification teaches you how to do just that: by cutting down bigger tasks and learning small steps at a time, you suddenly look back and realize all the steps you’ve crossed on the ladder towards your bigger goal.
Speak Your Mind
Your opinions are valuable. The more open you are about your ideas and decisions, the more confident you’ll feel. If you’re usually the type to stay quiet, speaking your mind may feel very uncomfortable at first. When you share your thoughts, you’re telling yourself that you trust your own opinions.
Work with a Therapist
Our minds are incredibly complicated. Sometimes, building trust in ourselves requires help from others. Therapy can be a great opportunity to learn about yourself, explore the reasons you may struggle with self-trust, and find ways to work on gaining back that self-trust you originally were born with. Once you acknowledge that babies don’t intentionally lose the trust they are born with and that something happens along the way that changes things, you will understand that self-trust can be regained with the help of your psychologist or therapist.
Reach out to me to learn how.